i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
