Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
