I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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