Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
