...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
