I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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