Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
