oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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