And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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