he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
