If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
