and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
