Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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