It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
