You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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