I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
