Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
