another moral hangover. fuck.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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