I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
