I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
