piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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