nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
