I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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