i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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