its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
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