I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
