I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
