I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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