I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
