she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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