first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You need a sexual gate keeper
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
