so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
