So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
