I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
