just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
