I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
