We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You are the jesus of drinking
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
