She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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