addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
