I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
