I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
