i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I have surprise drugs for everyone
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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