Don't make out with my wife yet
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
