I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
