so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize