if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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