During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
How's work?
Spinning.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
