The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Randomize
