wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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