thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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