I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
