it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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