Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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